Self Exploration + The Pleasure Within Finding Yourself

electricxrae
Apr 4
4 min read

Updated: Apr 17

Let’s be real - talking about self-exploration still feels taboo in a lot of circles. But in truth, it’s needed (and dare I say it? feels... empowering). Getting to know yourself on that deeper level is something everyone deserves to experience. Learn what works for you and romanticize the hell out of it.

A Natural Curiosity

Maybe it's because I grew up in a family that was open and positive about self-love, or maybe this path was just always meant for me. Either way, I’ve always been fascinated by the human body - its biology, its anatomy, and everything in between.

A Book That Opened the Door

I remember stumbling upon the book The Big O in my late teens. It was eye-opening (pun intended). Even though some parts didn’t fully resonate with me at the time, it sparked something that stuck with me. I put it on the shelf for a while and went on to explore other parts of life - music, relationships, and all the ways humans connect - but I kept getting pulled back to the psychology of intimacy, both solo and shared.

Following the Curiosity

In my 20s, I started diving deeper into what truly fuels me. I followed that curiosity and began educating myself online - everything from pheromones to the psychology of attraction. That journey eventually led me to become an ambassador for Bellesa - viral, women-founded sex toy brand that’s all about breaking stigmas and celebrating safe, healthy, empowering sexuality.

From Curiosity to Career

Fast forward a few years, heading into my 30s - I found myself working at a local sex shop. And wow, did that level up my knowledge. Not just through professional training and resources from across North America, but from real-life conversations with real people who walked through the doors every day. No judgment. Just a space full of questions, learning, and personal growth. These shops? They’re way more than just shelves and toys. They’re safe spaces. They’re community. They’re discovery.

Intimacy Beyond Romance

Intimacy isn't just reserved for romance. It’s in friendships. It’s in helping someone overcome something personal. It’s in gaining trust, sharing knowledge, and watching someone walk out the door just a little more confident than when they came in.

The Art of Self-Intimacy

Self-intimacy is healing. It’s art. It’s freedom. And it’s something that should be celebrated as a natural, beautiful part of being alive. It’s so important to build that relationship with yourself first. Always.

That doesn’t mean you’ll have it all figured out right away. As we grow and evolve, so does our pleasure. What lit you up in your 20s might shift completely in your 30s, 40s, and beyond. But that’s the beauty of it - exploring yourself is a journey, not a destination. The more in tune you are with your own body and desires, the stronger your connections with others can be. The more confident you’ll feel guiding yourself - and your partners.

Intentional Moments Matter

Loving yourself and giving yourself love go hand-in-hand and it doesn’t take the fanciest products or a stack of books. Sometimes all you need is intentional time with yourself. Set the mood. Light some candles. Treat it like a date night - for one.

Go slow. Be sensual. Whether it’s soaking in a hot bath, lying in bed with soft lighting, or standing in front of the mirror admiring everything that makes you, you - these moments matter. They’re for connecting with your essence. For tuning in to what fuels your body, mind, and soul.

Tools to Start Your Journey

To help guide you, I’ve put together some beginner-friendly resources and tools that helped jumpstart my own self-love and exploration journey. Some reconnected me to myself, others gave me fresh insight - and a few just made things a lot more fun.

Whatever self-love looks like for you, I hope you find it. Embrace pleasure in all its forms, keep exploring - and always keep blooming.

xo,

Rae