Adventure Time: Xander Takes On New York

Tonight, we finish clearing out my baby's closet (he's 8). A full-on purge to get ready for the new school year - bags of clothes that no longer fit and toys we're ready to donate. We made space not only in drawers this week, but in our hearts too.

Time for a whole new experience: my son is heading on a road trip to New York City - The Big Apple. He’s off on a little family vacay with his grandma, aunty and long distant cousins for a reunion. While his father and I are not physically going with him, we've packed all his favorite snacks, things to keep him busy, his favorite new stuffed animal and about a million reminders that we love him.

It’s his first big trip out of the country without us - and it’s about to become a core memory.

Why This Trip Matters

There’s something wildly charming (and a little emotional) about watching your child step into their own story. A few years ago, he flew to Calgary to visit his aunty. He came home different. More confident. A little braver and filled with stories about airplane snacks and cloud-watching. This trip to NYC? It’s that feeling, all over again.

According to a 2024 Student & Youth Travel Association survey,

• 82% of educators say student travel significantly boosts personal growth

• 64% report higher self-esteem in kids post-travel

  
  

Those numbers aren’t just stats - they’re stories waiting to unfold and he’s ready.

Why Kids Deserve to Travel

I used to think travel had to be a “family affair” - something we all do together, but the truth is - kids deserve the world, even when we can’t always be right beside them.

This year, my son has shown me what perseverance looks like. From school wins to personal growth, he’s earned this. This trip to the empire state of mind is a measured milestone. Another symbol of becoming.

Maybe I’m not nervous because I know road trips. I know how long highways can turn into karaoke concerts and laugh-out-loud snack breaks. Planes are fast, but there’s something grounding about watching the world pass by through the car window. Experiencing every mile firsthand.

Maybe I’m not nervous because he’s with his people - his grandma, his aunt - those who’ve loved him fiercely from the day he was born. If I didn’t trust them with his life, I wouldn’t be sending him.

Or maybe it’s because I’ve seen other parents do it - trusted friends who’ve sent their kids across provinces and countries for sports, art and other big adventures. I’m surrounded by families raising bright, bold, brilliant kids - and there’s something deeply calming in knowing: this is what growth looks like.

And maybe, just maybe - I’m at peace because the people I know from New York are some of the best people I've met in my life. I know we are supported on both sides of the border. I know he’s walking into love, not just location.

USA Travel Tips: Kids Crossing the U.S. Border Without Parents

For Canadian parents sending a child to the U.S. (or anywhere international), here’s what you need to know:

• A child doesn’t need a passport if they’re traveling by land or sea (like by car or ferry), but they do if flying.

• If traveling with one parent, a letter of consent from the other parent is recommended.

• If traveling with grandparents or relatives (without any parents), they’ll need a notarized consent letter from both parents.

• This letter should include travel/return dates, destinations and full contact info.

• Make sure the child’s accompanying adults carry a copy of the child’s health card and any medical details.

Pro tip: You can find official travel consent letter templates on the Government of Canada website.

Why It’s Good for Them (and for Us)

Letting go - even for a short trip - isn’t always easy. Especially when your child is sensitive, deeply connected to you and your world has revolved around keeping them safe. I won’t lie: I’ve had moments where I considered saying no, just to keep control. To guarantee his safety. But that’s not love - that’s fear, disguised.

The truth is, anything can happen, anywhere - even right here in Canada. We only get one life and this is not just for him - it’s a first for his grandma too. She deserves this experience just as much as he does.

So yes, I’m letting her take him, because sometimes love means stepping back; not holding tighter.

Giving our kids space to grow isn’t just good parenting - it’s essential. According to child psychologist Dr. Laura Markham, secure attachment doesn’t mean being attached at the hip. It means being emotionally present, consistent and trustworthy. When kids feel safe in that bond, they feel brave enough to explore.

And in today’s world? A video call is just one tap away.

The world teaches lessons we simply can’t simulate at home:

• Problem-solving – Navigating a new city, even with family, sharpens instincts. (This is why I’ve earned the nickname “walking GPS”)

• Self-trust – Being away from home builds inner confidence and decision-making.

• Resilience – They learn that distance doesn’t erase love; it stretches it across time zones.

  
  

Just a few months ago, one of his gaming friends asked us if we’d ever visit the U.S, and while this trip doesn’t take him exactly to that friend, it’s a meaningful step. A shift in frequency. One we’ve been learning a lot about lately. One word keeps coming up this week: alignment.

The Science of Separation

If you’re feeling that tug in your heart like I am - you’re not alone. A 2023 study in the Journal of Child Development and Mental Health found that kids with strong parent-child bonds are more likely to experience separation anxiety between ages 6 and 10 - but that’s not a bad thing, it just means they feel safest with you. That deep sense of security gives them the courage to stretch their wings.

Here’s the beautiful twist: Small, safe steps toward independence actually help ease anxiety over time. They offer proof that distance doesn’t mean danger—it means discovery.

So yes, I’ll probably cry a little harder tomorrow morning when I hug to send him off, but I'm also so proud of the incredible young man he's growing into.

Toronto Girl, NYC Dreams

Growing up in Toronto, New York was always a dream of mine - loud, alive, full of rhythm and possibility. Maybe it was the skyline or my love for music and media. It felt like Toronto’s louder cousin, and I was obsessed.

So there’s something poetic about him experiencing it now. The food carts. The noise. The neon. The family laughter echoing off sidewalks in Rochester. It’s magic - once my dream, now part of his reality.

Raising Brave, Independent Thinkers

Letting your child head off into the world doesn’t mean you’re losing control. It means you’re gaining trust - and giving it too.

Want to raise strong, thoughtful humans?

• Start small. Let them pick their outfits, choose a snack or decide how to spend a free afternoon.

• Encourage questions. Kids who are allowed to ask “why” grow into adults who challenge what doesn’t serve them.

• Celebrate effort over perfection. Mistakes become stepping stones, not shame triggers.

• Model self-trust. When they see you try new things, they learn it’s okay not to have all the answers.

  
  

Because when they grow, we grow. That’s just how it works.

Watching Him Go (And Letting Him Fly)

This reminds me of last year when we read The Wild Robot books; NO SPOILERS - but it was a big lesson for us all. Watching him leave - even for a few days - will never be easy as a mother or parent. That’s your heart walking out the door in tiny sneakers.

One thing I do know is this: every moment he spends learning the world without me is a moment he carries me within him - and I’m always just one call away.

Here’s to packed bags, clean closets, new sneakers, and fresh memories. To the kind of childhood that writes its own story long before adulthood arrives.

New York, take care of him. He’s carrying big dreams - and a massive piece of my heart.

The Adventure Doesn’t End Here

We’ve got a few big plans for 2026 - one in particular that could change the entire direction of our lives, but we’re not spilling that just yet. This is his moment. Some chapters are still being written and trust me, they’re worth the wait.

To all the mama's (and the papas) letting go a little more each year - we’ve got this.