Parenting: Why Both Roles Genuinely Matter

Parenting has always been complex. Men and women often bring different strengths to the table and while that might sometimes feel chaotic, science shows that those differences are actually essential to a child’s emotional and psychological development.

Let's talk about what moms and dads typically bring to the parenting dynamic - and why having both perspectives can give our kids a major advantage in life.

A Mother’s Touch: Nurturing + Emotional Intelligence

As mothers, we are often seen as the emotional anchors in the family. This isn’t just a stereotype - it’s been proven in research.

Studies show that we are generally more responsive to a child’s emotional cues and this responsiveness plays a key role in helping kids develop emotional intelligence. According to a study published in the journal Child Development - maternal sensitivity during your child's early years is strongly associated with secure attachment styles, which are linked to better relationships, academic performance and self-esteem later in life.

We are known to prioritize routines, emotional regulation and comfort. This helps children feel safe, seen and secure - which builds a solid foundation from which they can confidently explore the world.

The Father’s Influence: Encouraging Risk + Resilience

As mothers often focus on nurturing and protecting - fathers tend to encourage exploration, independence and controlled risk. Through years of co-parenting and getting to know each of our parenting styles, I've learned it's important to sever tied feelings and let them embrace the role of fatherhood.

You can step in if desperately needed, but relatively this is your child's way of navigating the world realistically. Father's tend to have ways of getting to the point and making things happen - which is a good skill to learn in early stages (practicing the arts of hard work, confidence and dedication).

According to a study in The Journal of Family Psychology, fathers are more likely to engage in rougher play and physical challenges that help children learn limits and self-control. This style of parenting supports resilience, problem-solving, and the ability to manage stress (in my experience, hello! 8yr old advanced yellow karate belt, 2nd stripe jujitsu master + a straight A student - he can thank us later).

Children with actively involved fathers tend to have better social skills and fewer behavioral problems (there will always be challenging days). They also score higher on cognitive tests and are more likely to have higher academic achievement.

Two Styles, One Power

When kids experience both nurturing and challenge, they develop a more balanced toolkit for life. A 2018 meta-analysis from the Journal of Marriage and Family found that children raised by both a warm, emotionally available mother and a positively involved father had significantly better developmental outcomes across the board - emotionally, cognitively and socially. It’s not about mom doing this and dad doing that... it’s about having complementary strengths. One parent might calm the storm and the other might teach how to stand in it. Together, they create a complete environment for growth.

What If Both Roles Aren’t Present?

Life isn’t always traditional - trust me. I have been there. My oldest son's father was never involved and our son has a developmental delay. That in itself is not easy, even with a 'normal' child.... and that’s okay. The research supports diversity in parenting, not necessarily gender roles. What matters is that children receive both emotional nurturing and guidance toward independence - whether that comes from two moms, two dads, grandparents, or co-parents in separate homes.

It’s about balance, not biology.

Why This Matters More Than Ever

We’re raising kids in a world that demands both heart and grit (with extreme determination). They need to be kind but assertive and expressive but resilient. That means they benefit most from both sides of the parenting game (yes - make it fun!). Whether you’re a mom who nurtures or a dad who dares - what matters most is that you show up with intention.

The science says your differences aren’t just okay - they’re exactly what your kids need.

xo,

Rae